problems with myself

i'm obsessive and it's starting to make me sick. stupid ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends...stupid curiosity. i found the blog of my fiance's ex girlfriend and for some reason I have a sick curosity to read it. i know there was nothing in it that would make me mad. no cheating, no longing to still be with my fiance. but for some reason, i'm still mad.

i think people who don't normally get mad have trouble with anger when they do get mad. kind of like a sleeping giant kind of thing. i was in a very violent disposition this afternoon and i did it to myself. this girl was minding her own business and i just made myself angry by looking at her picture.

i'm bitter. it's gotten better, but still...obssessive and dumb. damn feelings.

other than that, life is okay. let's call this temporary insanity. it should be over. but i was thinking that i could use all this violent energy and channel it to some physical activity that would get my fat body in shape. HAH! maybe if they were having an affair...but not much can motivate me to move these days.

i'm stinking tired of thinking about my job...or lack there of. i'm going to start thinking about how fun it is to live with the crazy people i live with. yesss.... let the good times roll. : D