letters

i have very little to say, but this is my latest deeper thought....well thoughts. i never have just one thought at a time.

this is an email i sent to my boyfriend, scott: (if you don't read what's in the link, then you won't understand this blog. so i suggest you get to reading.)

God here (haha...i meant to say "Go here", but it came out this way instead. so i leave it):
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/beta/god_article.php?id=6967

it's experiences like (but not exactly this) that that i had when i was younger and still a child. as an adult, i want to experience this again. please tell me you can see this for my and our future. this is what true christianity is. it's doing something real and something worth while. it's not about saving a butt load of money to go to some far off place just to give a man some bread. but it's about focus. readjustment. refinement. and beauty. it could happen here while we're working day in and day out. but there's something about traveling, sharing, touching, tasting, experiencing, and feeling the depth of life in a foreign place that gets us to do those things. connecting with people so different and so far that grows God from our rural, suburban, evangelical, white experiences of Jesus.

there's nothing more powerful than giving back and losing everything for God, even if but for a moment.

i love you and right now there's nothing more i want for us than to experience God in a deep way together. i think we both need a spiritual jolt and a chance to break our hearts a little because it's the layers of crap (ie: traffic tickets, annoying co-workers, rent payments, and school payments) that make life void of all juice, color, and glory. i'm a shell. i'm a book. i'm a cup. i'm ready.

i hope this makes sense. but understand that that article broke my heart because it made me realize that all my thoughts of really making a difference, making a sacrifice, isn't just a passing fad in my life spawned by the christian community and the stupid buzz words we have. it's something real inside me. i want to be a part of something that genuinely changes lives in huge ways - meaningful. whether it's feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, or donating money to the poor. i find very little more beautiful.

you know me. always thinking...

dottie : )