mornings by myself
outside my window it's snowing. big snow flakes. i'm wondering if i should venture out of my room today, and i wonder this because two of my roommates are already gone, and my other roommate is still sleeping at 11:42. so, i am not very motivated to wake up all that much and be productive. there's something about the lights that triggers things like that.
so my mornings are always alone when i don't have class. they are alone because people at home are sleeping. except wilbe, cause he works nights and gets off work right about this time. but still, i am pretty much alone because my roommates have lives or don't. so i am left to my own devices.
now you know that i blog because i have no one else to talk to. basically my computer has become my best friend. it connects me to my friends across the world and it listens, even when i have absolutely nothing to say.
i like mornings like this. but honestly, i will be happy when i can share mornings like this. i always like the feeling of knowing some one is within reach. i like studying with someone next to me, even though we're completely involved in our own subjects. it's a security thing. gosh, i miss him so much. i miss flirting and that feeling of stupid giddiness. gosh. i miss the damn attention he brings and the pure acceptance he exudes.
so what about having life so easy? i do. it's sick really. it makes most people angry, jealous, or apathetic. some of the worst conditions in life. i am thankful to be so lucky, but at the same time i wonder how bad things will get when they get bad. it was just a year ago when life was the worst. heart in pieces, mind broken, and will squashed. but now i am just fine. crazy what a year can do. i just hope i don't get fooled again with what made things so tough last year. so, i learned from that and i am happy that i will refrain from repeating that disaster. : ) and i'm sure he is happy too.
so let's just hope that when life does turn sour, it turns sour for a reason and that i will make it through the next desert.
amen.
so my mornings are always alone when i don't have class. they are alone because people at home are sleeping. except wilbe, cause he works nights and gets off work right about this time. but still, i am pretty much alone because my roommates have lives or don't. so i am left to my own devices.
now you know that i blog because i have no one else to talk to. basically my computer has become my best friend. it connects me to my friends across the world and it listens, even when i have absolutely nothing to say.
i like mornings like this. but honestly, i will be happy when i can share mornings like this. i always like the feeling of knowing some one is within reach. i like studying with someone next to me, even though we're completely involved in our own subjects. it's a security thing. gosh, i miss him so much. i miss flirting and that feeling of stupid giddiness. gosh. i miss the damn attention he brings and the pure acceptance he exudes.
so what about having life so easy? i do. it's sick really. it makes most people angry, jealous, or apathetic. some of the worst conditions in life. i am thankful to be so lucky, but at the same time i wonder how bad things will get when they get bad. it was just a year ago when life was the worst. heart in pieces, mind broken, and will squashed. but now i am just fine. crazy what a year can do. i just hope i don't get fooled again with what made things so tough last year. so, i learned from that and i am happy that i will refrain from repeating that disaster. : ) and i'm sure he is happy too.
so let's just hope that when life does turn sour, it turns sour for a reason and that i will make it through the next desert.
amen.
posted by Dot Spot at 1:44 AM
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